Skin and Bones

(I found this here)

Here's a little bit of a more honest blog post for y'all today, so hopefully you're cool with me being more open. Today we're talking about skin and bones. How comfortable are you with the skin you're in? How comfortable are you with the the bones of who you are? Not the physical bones, but who you are underneath who people see. How comfortable are you with, well, you? I'm 19 years old and to some people that's probably really young but to be cheesy, it's the oldest I've ever been. It's also close to 20 which freaks me the heck out. Just keeping it real. I'm an adult....sort of. But less than a year ago I was still in high school. And let me tell you, in high school I was not comfortable at all with my skin and bones. In fact, I'm just now realizing how uncomfortable I was. I was so incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin.

I realize that this may be something that a lot of high school aged kids feel. Heck, somedays I still feel uncomfortable and unconfident. Part of me feels like it never goes away, maybe it just comes and goes less frequently. Either way, its not a great feeling. It took a lot of work and it still does, to put up a front and to be constantly worrying about what the people around me are thinking. What they think of me. I know it doesn't matter now (most days), but if I could put myself back there, in high school...I know it did. It really did affect me. As much as I thought I knew who I was, or how confident I thought I was, it was really tough somedays. I had this hyperawareness of EVERYTHING around me. And let me tell you, that must have been exhausting. I wasted so much energy! It must have been so tiring and pointless to worry so much about everything I said and every action I made. Because that's what I did. I literally was aware of everything I did, and how it would be perceived or what I wanted people to think about me. If I'm being honest, I don't think I was comfortable at all until the last 3 months of grade 12. That's a long time to be uncomfortable.

I don't know if there's a solution, or an answer to this problem. It's a problem. It's an issue that we face. And I think we all face it to some capacity. Or we've all faced it at some point. For me it consumed me, I think. And because of it I know I missed out on a lot. I guess it's insecurity or the need to be liked. I think that's a very common high school problem. Who you are in high school pretty much depends on if you're liked and if you're smart. One or the other....or both. But what if you're neither? What if you're both? What if you're still feeling inadequate or just a little too aware of what people think about you?

I'm starting to think this might be a little bit of a pointless post to actually post....because I don't have the answer. On some level I still struggle with this. I think it gets better with age, and with good friends. That's the answer I have. That, and this: take a look in the mirror the next time you feel this way (if you don't...well you probably won't get anything from this LOL). It doesn't matter where you are. Find a mirror, okay? Good. So look in the mirror at your self. Look at your skin and think about the bones. Look at your physical self and think about the top 3 things that would define you as a person. Your bones, not how you look. What are the top 3 things that you could say about yourself if someone asked? Got them? Make sure they are facts; positive, real facts. Like; I'm creative, I'm kind and I have integrity. Let your bones supersede your skin. Maybe you're uncomfortable with your outward appearance and what others think of how you look. Here's a secret, your bones are more important. So once you have those 3 things, think about them for a minute and be confident in them. Because those are the things about you that matter. Go about the rest of your day and be confident that it's okay to feel uncomfortable with your skin (you'll get better at loving it), but your bones are what count. If you need to go back to the mirror over and over, do it. Do it and then be confident that if you love you - if you are comfortable with you, then that is all that matters.

I'm also gonna sneak this in here: don't let your worth and value be dependent on the people around you!

Gahhh that was so long! If you've read to the end, I love you and thank you so much!

Until next time!

xoxo

(that ending is starting to feel like gossip girl....you know you love me)